Every groan since February 2024. You were warned.
Why is nobody ever pleased to see a suitcase?
It always turns up with baggage.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
Why did the biscuit go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
What did one candle say to the other?
“Don't birthdays just burn you out?”
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
what's a creative's favourite exercise?
Running out of time.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
how many creatives does it take to change a lightbulb? Does it have to be a lightbulb?
42courses · 7 Francis Grove · London, SW19 4DW · United Kingdom
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
why did the art director bring a ladder to Cannes?
To reach the high concepts.
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
It's two-tired.
I tried to think of a joke about being unforgettable. But it slipped my mind.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
What size hard drive does a dinosaur buy?
A ptera byte
What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad
Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf?
In case they get a hole-in-one.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere
When does a joke become a "dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
“I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.”
Did you hear about the picture in jail?
It was framed.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
I lost my job at the Orange Juice Factory.
I couldn’t concentrate.
Why should you never trust trees?
Because they seem shady.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse.
Why did the egg have a day off?
Because it was Fryday.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
How did the hairdresser win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, it's on the house.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
Apparently, da brie is everywhere.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz.
What kind of cars do eggs drive?
Yolkswagens.
What's the best way to save your dad jokes?
In a dadda-base.
5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants.
Now they’re tenants
Why do leopards suck at hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
A Machine Learning algorithm walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What will you have?”
The algorithm says, “What’s everyone else having?"
What washes up on tiny beaches?
Microwaves.
Why did the chef bring a spoon to the stadium?
He heard it was going to be a Super Bowl.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
I don't trust atoms... they make up everything. 🪐
“What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.”
I don't trust atoms... they make up everything. 🪐
Want to hear a joke about paper?
It's tearable.
I always visit my local tire shop on New Years. Then I will know it will be a Goodyear.
Where does a snowman get the weather report?
The winternet.
Why did the AI get kicked out of the dance competition?
Because it had no algo-rhythm! 🥁🤖
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!
. Did you hear about the thief who stole an Advent Calendar?… He got 25 days 🎄
Which vegetable has the best kung fu?
Broc-lee.
What happens if you throw a Finnish sailor overboard?
Helsinki 🇫🇮
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...
What do you call a drawing of a cow?
A moo-sterpiece 🐮
What do you call a duck that likes fireworks?
... A fire-quacker! 🐥
Apple needs to come up with a new creative naming scheme for their products...
You know what iMean?
Why don’t mummies take holidays?
They’re afraid they’ll unwind 🎃
What do you ask Daniel Kahneman when he has to use the bathroom?
Is it a system 1 or a system 2?
I used to be addicted to soap. I'm clean now 🧼
What sort of holiday do celebs go on?
A Tom Cruise
Where do vampires keep their money in a special place?
The blood bank.
I told a chemistry joke once.
There was no reaction.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was de-brie everywhere.
Why does Africa has less casinos?
Too many cheetahs.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
Why do behavioural scientists have such bad teeth?
Floss aversion.
Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
It’s not stroganoff.
Why do marketers hate trampoline parks?
Because the bounce rate is so high!
My dog, "Minton", ate a shuttlecock.
Bad Minton.
How did Yoda get his first lead?
He used the Sales Force.
What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra.
What do you call a grammar-rule-breaking copywriter?
A rebel without a clause.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Where is happiness made?
At the satisfactory 😂
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
How do you throw a party in outer space?
You planet. 😂
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...
So she gave me a hug.
Why did the thief break into the bakery?
He kneaded the dough.
What made the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell
They come with an Elon Musk.
Why are computers so smart?
They listen to their motherboards.
Why do behavioural scientists have such bad teeth?
Floss aversion.
Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything.
Where do vampires keep their money?
At the blood bank.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What did the boy band that plays classical music name itself?
The Bach Street Boys.
I threw a boomerang at a ghost.
I knew it would come back to haunt me. 👻
What did the boy band that plays classical music name itself?
The Bach Street Boys.
I want to join a support group for procrastinators, but they keep postponing the meetings ⏰
What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
Apparently exercising helps with decision making. It's true!
I went for a jog today and decided I'm never going again.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. 💀
What kind of chocolate do you find in airports?
Plain.
Why shouldn’t you trust trees?
They seem shady. 🌴
Our vacuum cleaner is getting old. It's just gathering dust.
What’s What is a lion's favourite pasta?
Serenghetti 🦁
I started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
How many marketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they've automated it with AI 😂
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse 🤭
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse 🤭
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
Do these genes make me look fat? 🤭
What do you call a shrimp wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated 😂
What do lawyers wear to work?
Lawsuits 🤭
What kind of music do bubbles listen to?
Pop. Kidding - they hate it 😂
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador 🤭
Have you heard the joke about yoga?
Never mind, it's a bit of a stretch 😂
What do you call a vicar who becomes a judge?
A father-in-law 🤭
What do you call someone with a tattoo of Pi on their face?
Irrational 😂
Why did the dollar take a nap?
It was spent 🤭
How did the hairdresser win the race?
She knew a shortcut 😂
What music streaming platform do the planets use?
Neptunes 🤭
How do billboards talk to each other?
Sign language 😂
Why did the cannon ball lose its job??
It got fired 🤭
What kind of music do bubbles like?
Anything, as long as it's not pop 😂
Where do pirates get their hooks?
Second-hand shops 🤭
How can you tell if a vampire is unwell?
You'll notice the coffin 😂
How did the picture end up in prison?
It was framed 🤭
If your boyfriend does not like fruit jokes,
Where are average things manufactured?
The Satisfactory 🤭
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can hunt knights 😂
What do you do if you have a Hokey Pokey addiction?
Turn yourself around! 🤭
Why are snails slow?
Because they're carrying a house on their back 😂
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle
What did the vet say to the cat? How are you feline? 😂
P.S. Happy birthday to our marvellous founder, from the 42courses team
What do you call a dog who meditates?
An aware-wolf 🤭
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad away 😂
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing 🤭
What happens to bad rainbows?
They go to prism. It gives them time to refract. 😂
What’s a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other 😂
What happened to the firework that was arrested on New Year's Eve?
It was let off with a warning 😂
Why did the snowman page through the carrot catalog?
He was picking his nose 😂
What do you call a bubblegum locomotive?
A chew-chew-train 😂
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
Poke him on 😂
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it 😂
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor??
Make me one with everything 😂
What side should you take during an argument at the dinner table?
All of them - pack a doggy-bag 😂
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
Do these genes make me look fat? 😂
What do you call a crocodile super sleuth?
Detective Investigator, of course 😂
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse 😂
Why is sausage bad for you?
It brings out the würst in people 😂
What does it take to be an organ donor?
Guts 😂
What do you call a manufacturer of products that are only okay?
A satisfactory 😂
Did you know that dogs can't operate MRI machines?
But Catscan 😂
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, it's on the house 😂
Where do beaches go when they're seasick?
To the doc of the bay 😂
What did the vet say to the cat?
How are you feline? 😂
How does a tree get online?
It logs on 😂
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, it's on the house 😂
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business 😂
Why did the coffee taste like dirt?
Because it was ground just a few minutes ago 😂
Why did the AI go on a diet?
Because it had too many bytes! 😂
Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they're extinct 🫣 😂
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam 😂
Why is there a lion in your wardrobe?
Narnia business 😂
How do you know if a pool safe for diving?
It deep ends 😂
What do you call an inappropriate dad joke?
A faux pa 😂
Why shouldn’t you wear a belt made of watches?
It’s a waist of time 😂
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato. 😂
What country's capital is growing the fastest?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin. 😂
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide 😂
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
He was far out, man! 😂
Why did the old man fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well 😂
Why are piggy banks so wise?
They're filled with common cents 🐷
What did the car say when it was put in reverse?
Ah, this takes me back 😂
What does it cost to go swimming with sharks?
An arm and a leg! 🫣
Why did the robot go on vacation?
Because it needed to recharge its batteries! 😂
What do you do with a sick chemist?
Helium or barium! 😂
How do you prepare to host a space party?
You planet 😂
How did the spy-pig send a message?
With invisible oink 😂
I bought my friend an elephant for her room. She said "Thanks".
What do call a sarcastic criminal landing an airplane?
Condescending 😂
What do you call the security guards at Samsung?
Guardians of the Galaxy 😂
How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They're all on the dark side 😂
What do you call a big dog who meditates?
Aware-wolf 😂
What do you call a French man wearing sandals?
Philipe Fallop 😂
When does a funny line become a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes apparent 😂
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge! 😂
What's the fastest way to burn 1000 calories?
Leave the pizza in the oven 😂
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana 😂
Why don't prawns share anything?
Because they're shellfish 😂
What do you call a pile of cats on a heap of dirt?
A meown-tain out of a mole-hill 😂
What do you call the process of aging for snowmen?
Evaporation 😂
Who reported the robbery at the Apple Store?
An iWitness 😂
How can you tell if it's an emotional wedding?
When even the cake is in tiers 😂
How do you prepare holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it 😂
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant 😂
What do you call a mushroom that tells great jokes?
A fun-guy 😂
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics! 😂
Why do tigers have stripes?
They don't want to be spotted 😂
What’s an AI’s favourite music?
Algo-rhythm and blues 😂
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis 😂
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse 😂
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide 😂
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam 😂
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup! 😂
What do you call a production line of products that are only ok?
A Satisfactory 😂
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam 😂
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up! 😂
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data! 😂
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta! 😂
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired 😂
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! 😂
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies! 😂
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it 😂
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships 😂
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blue berry 😂
What do sprinters eat before they race?
Nothing. They fast 😂
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless 😂
What did the one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I'll go on a head 😂
Why did the belt get arrested?
It held up a pair of trousers 😂
Are all maths puns bad?
No, just sum 😂
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles 😂
What did the windmill say about his favourite kind of music?
"I'm a big metal fan" 😂
